Requesting — called a “mand” in Verbal Behavior — is often one of the first communication skills we work on, because it gives the child a way to get what they need and reduces frustration and challenging behaviour.
Why start with requesting?
When a child discovers that communication “works” — that they get what they want when they ask for it — their desire to communicate grows. Requesting is also directly linked to the child’s motivation in that moment.
Practical steps for parents
- Know what your child loves: toys, foods, activities.
- Create opportunities to request: put a toy where they can see it but not reach it, or give a small portion of something they like.
- Model: say the word clearly when they show they want something, e.g. “ball”.
- Wait a little: give them a chance to try.
- Respond immediately: give them what they asked for as soon as they try.
Every form of communication counts: a word, a sign, a picture or a communication device. What matters is that the child has a way that works.
Common mistakes
- Asking for full words or long sentences before the child is ready.
- Delaying the requested item so long that the child loses interest.
- Meeting all the child’s needs before they ask, so they never need to communicate.
